Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Randomize
