u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
