It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
