I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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