$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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