I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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