He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
