And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need water and some morals
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
