Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
