How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
