somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she smelled like a LAN party
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
