So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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