The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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