You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
PANTIES FOUND
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