so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
