actually, I'm a sock model
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it's like iHOP with fire
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
