Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
