Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
