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The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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