My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We have started to decorate penises.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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