Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
