Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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