that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
