You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
