There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
