Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
