I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
