angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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