WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
