Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
They are going to name an STD after you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
