Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
