Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
