so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that's an acceptable place to lick
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Houston, we have a blender
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
