white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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