Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
