I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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