Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
