i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
