So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
