wrigley field is MILF paradise
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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