the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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