I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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