Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
