I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
