vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
