We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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