All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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