ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
