Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
