I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just want to make out with him forever
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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