Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
