Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
